THE REAL MOTHER
I am excited to write this piece.
I believe Mothers are one of the best gifts that God gave to humanity.
In my book, LETTER TO THILDA, I wrote a short piece on Motherhood:
Motherhood they say is the purest form of love. It is the tenderness expressed in the touch of maternal love on the body of a helpless infant. It is the feel of the umbilical cord that joins the mother with the foetus. It is the lingering taste of the breast milk sucked that draws the offsprings often to the side of the ones who gave them birth. Separation could come by any means possible but the pull of Motherhood is strong. The child returns like a hen to roost, to find her.
Mother, the noun, according to the Word Web refers to ‘a woman who has given birth to a child.’ This is the simplest definition but it is incomplete.
A woman does not need to give birth to a child to be a mother. What if she adopts that child or gets a surrogate to carry the child, does not mean she cannot be called a mother?
Mother as a verb means, ‘care for like a mother.’ This means that when a woman is caring towards another child, she can be called the mother of that child. Even though she did not carry that child in her womb. My neighbour, Jumoke calls me the surrogate mother of her son, Ope probably because of the way I care for him.
A woman may not have a biological child i.e. give birth to a child but she can have many children that she cares for. TY Bello, the photographer sang a song about a woman, Ekundayo who did not have any child of her own but was taking care of so many children.
Does that mean she is not a mother?
A Real Mother takes care of children. Motherhood goes beyond carrying a child for nine months. Some women carry children and abandon them. Others threaten them with words like, ’I carried you for nine months. If I curse you, you will be useless for life. You must do what I say except you did not suck my breasts.’
Motherhood should not be used to threaten children. Real Mothers do not behave like that.
I heard the story of a woman who had eight children who abandoned her. The woman who told me the story said she had to help the woman pay her hospital bill. And many of the woman’s children are wealthy.
I was troubled as I wondered. What could that woman have done to merit that kind of bad treatment? Eight children! And not even one could stay by her. Quite sad!
Motherhood goes beyond carrying a baby and nurturing that baby to infancy.
A Real Mother does not marry a man because she is LONELY. She carefully chooses the father of her children, knowing that her decision can have great impact on the destiny of the children.
A Real Mother works hand in hand with her husband to raise their children. She does not frustrate his efforts by pampering them till they become almost rotten.
A Real Mother makes sacrifices for her children. She is ready to wear rags to make sure that her children get the best in life.
A Real Mother teaches her children virtues that will help them through life. The Bible talks about the Law of the Mother. (Proverbs 6:20)
A Real Mother will not teach her child to be corrupt by getting people to write exams for the child.
A Real Mother does not allow a child do whatever he or she wants for fear of offending that child. A real mother disciplines an erring child in love and points the child to the narrow way of salvation.
I cannot enumerate all the qualities of a Real Mother but she is the epitome of virtue and those who know her see her children and say, ‘No wonder. I know that woman. She is a virtuous woman so her children take after her.’
I salute a REAL MOTHER. My Marvellous Mother-In-A- Million, Dr (Mrs ) B.A. Omeni.
Thank you for all the sacrifices you made and are still making for me.
Thank you for being used of God to cover my shame.
Thank you for being there with a listening ear when I needed to talk.
Thank you for refusing to be a RITUAL MOTHER.
You chose the right man to be my father.
Thank you for being there for us, your children.
Though there were times when I felt you were too strict
I can see now that you were looking out for me.
I can say you are my best friend.
Thank you for being a REAL MOTHER.